THE HILLS

June 5^th, 2013.

At the beginning of a vacation if one is dragged to a hill station where there is nothing but the sound of silence and a chaotic family then …I doubt one can be very happy. Yes the mist descends upon my house ……yes the clouds float into my room …yes I now have a cold! So I now do what my family believes I do…I am now on my own trip and in the words of a friend of mine internet blabbing… it’s obvious when the only company we have is each other and the billion insects!!

At one time we used to have the most interesting neighbors now its empty houses. A compound that used to be bustling with children who metamorphosed into teenagers have finally grown up and managed to convince their families to stop having these annual visits to the HILLS…unfortunately for me the older I grew the more insistent my family became…and once again I’m stuck in a place where my company ranges from dust to air to flies to bees to mist. Yes, it’s highly interesting company for a 60 year old (no offense intended) not for a 17 year old!

It’s a little hard to believe that they do not see this…I guess it’s the security that an older child will assume responsibility and take control of the younger kids and the house...It’s after all their time to go on vacation…so being the eldest one has to sacrifice or feign autism...An since my acting skills aren’t that great I feign sleep...It’s the closest to autism that I will get to… take it from me IT DOES NOT WORK…they wake you up and criticize you like there is no tomorrow .

This ultimately brings me to the crux of the article...Criticism.  Human nature encourages us to criticize everyone and everything including ourselves. We for some reason to look better criticize those we sometimes hold closest to ourselves. Personally I criticize my younger brother to no end and most of the time it is to irritate him and so many times its so that I can establish my authority over him if even for a few hours or minutes. Well it almost always backfires as he being the ‘little boy’ gets all the family support in his mini fights and inconsequential arguments!!

The Hills are a good place to contemplate as well as introspect... my very deep findings are to mess with the younger kid one needs the support of even littler kids!!! So if you want travel advice with pros and cons feel free to ask me…I have older as well as younger cousins and I swear by “the hills” I do travel a lot.

*all thoughts are solely of the authors perspective and are not binding on any reader and bear no direct reference to any individual unless  specially mentioned. 

And suddenly everybody's favorite game is CRICKET

I picked this off Facebook right after we won the ICC CHAMPIONS TROPHY because its actually true...how many people who claim to love the game actually know anything about it?? and i do not mean players! or IPL teams or their owners....i mean the GAME!!
Yes, I AM a Cricket Lover. I watch it.I Understand it and I LOVE IT!!
And what actually irked me was that people were going crazy getting all excited about the international sports scenario without caring what exactly was happening... no it was because it was INDIA-PAKISTAN..or INDIA-SRI LANKA..it was so crazy!!  and all the cricket fanatic could do was sit as a silent spectator at the match for there was a hundred others giving commentary apart from of course the commentators.
well when i finally got over it i was ready to criticize every person at what they did if there was even a slim chance i was better at it.
back to my crash course in cricket....its a game which keeps you at the edge of your seat..it entertains you like none other..a bag of crisps and a bottle of coke...a chilled room with a warm blanket and either your friends or your family all around you!! cheering at a six and groaning at a wicket! and the streets after their favorite team wins... fireworks and dancing!! its all part of the game.
the legends that this game has given is again no joke... DON BRADMAN...SIR VIV RICHARDS...SUNIL GAVASKAR..SACHIN TENDULKAR....RAHUL DRAVID...STEVE WAUGH...WASIM AKRAM...SHANE WARNE...  MAHELA JAYAWARDENE..KAPIL DEV.... and which girl hasnt given evrything to see BRETT LEE bowl or to see a VIRAT KOHLI bat??
 the game of the British a more refined version of  street cricket ...the game each boy plays while growing up..the game each girl wishes she could someday dream of watching ...or being part of..the neighbours shouting through broken window panes and the children scattering like marbles...
this game unites a country..a state..a city and even a street or locality!!
well this game inspires me and thats why i bleed blue but to those who update a status simply because everyone else is think of 5 reasons as to why one would do that though that would deprive me of my pleasure of reading sarcastic status updates!!

Secrets

We all have our secrets. We are forced to have our secrets.The reason being the hundred fingers that point at our generation. The fingers that point at us because of their archaic view of friendship, relationship and infatuation ( or what we like to call Love). I do not dispute the fact that Love at our age happens and yet at times it seems a little far fetched..What is it that leads us to in the name of privacy hide things that actually matter to us? i started writing this blog as a platform where i could question every norm of society freely..of the society to which we are bound not by choice but by birth.And yet i think twice before i type something down.
Being part of this very society i criticize so freely i realize that i am a repressed rebel by nature.i stand against all those things which cloud our thinking and judgement in the form of archaic thought. the crux of this article being secrets i revert back to my first question... Why is it that we have these secrets?

The first reason being that we fear and detest criticism of ourselves.  We'd rather hide the very important emotion (all emotions are important) present in our lives than be told to overlook it or forget it. We fear the pointing fingers so much that at times we let go of something real ...a friend... an acquaintance and even an age old  promise.

The second that we ourselves are not ready to accept what we believe and as a defense mechanism either repress it or form a reaction towards it. leading once more to the creation of secrets. 

I would at one time hide the fact that i loved writing..it was due to a fear of being judged about what i wrote and accepting that criticism and judgement. this was one of my biggest secrets and this blog is as i said a platform for me to overcome that fear.

Secrets remain secrets only till we don't take a stand towards what we believe in.. secrets have caused misunderstandings and arguments among the best of friends and having first hand experience in situations arising from secrets i believe that one should treasure everything one holds in high regard and accept it with pride and confidence.

To reinforce what i believe i would like to end with a borrowed phrase ( everyone at LMC will know this one)

secrets are our largest weakness and to remain strong in the face of adversity..

 "Say it Loud!...Say it Proud!"

To being a MAYOITE ..

This one goes out to all my awesome dorm mates...i'm already working on my promise of a book for/ on you all..

Contrary to the belief of a non Mayoite..we are not made up of lots of attitude and elitist behavior...we do not stand on pedestals... we are PUT on pedestals..we aren't the best because we have a legacy behind us. we are the best because that's what we make of our opportunities. We are born with the skills of time management and persuasion... that's how our parents know that Mayo is the best place for us. Being a Mayoite is like having a new identity its like being part of a family....yes my observation is very run of the mill.
But it is a fact.. we are all family...so what i'm going to do is give a little bit of an insight into the  the life of a Mayoite or rather a Charuite..

You enter a whole new world thinking how you are going to fit in but in less than a week it feels like you've been nowhere but here. And soon enough Friends become Family and we become a part of each others lives. i watch a movie or read a book and i find at least three to four characters who are a mixture of  those very friends.

I HATED horlicks and now its at the top of my tuck list...i had issues with eating 'kaccha' maggi now i cant wait for those 15 minute before prep maggi sessions... or those 20 mins after 12 when we still aren't ready for someones birthday....

yes we light up a storm while preparing and trying to make someones birthday special...and no we don't always clean up...

 

we study....we read..we interact and we make new friends or rather we prank unsuspecting or random people...that's what we do when we r 'vela'... which is usually after we do our homework or not do our homework..we are maestros at the art of  procrastination....from submissions to inter houses...

Inter Houses are nothing short of civil wars...we do take them very seriously. Its practices till late at night (or early morning) and then we blame the sleepy behavior [not thanks to our OOs ;) ] in class on the morning P.T.! ( which thanks to our awesome batch of captains will not return???)

Oh..I also found old like really old friends thanks to mayo..so i'm not complaining about the immense workload we have ....because one trip somewhere and suddenly the back log seems manageable! we change with time and metamorphose into completely different individuals and yet when we see the old dorm..we once again become the naive juniors that we used to be..the friends that became a one big family...giving each other abbreviated names so that shouting becomes easier ..

 Mayo is a place where we learn to lose our inhibitions..to make new friends..to embrace new opportunities and to stand out of the crowd so much so that we ARE put on pedestals. to make the critics rule in our favor..
This is my last year of school and i honestly have no idea how we came this far..how Five years will soon become Five months..a part of me wants this to get over and the other more rational part of me wants school   to be extended

Typical as it may seem my analysis is true and so is what i'm going to say next. You can take the Mayoite out of mayo but you can't take mayo out of the Mayoite! i owe my awesome time in school , the fights,the feasts, my possessive streak about my things (INCLUDING FRIENDS) and the amazing time I've had to u guys...my dorm mates and my friends...

To  the CHARUITES
AS, AS, AM, AM, AG(m), AJ, AS, CV, CS, DG, DS, EG, GS, KS, LRR, MA, RB, RK, RP, SP, ST, TJ.

                       
and to everyone else who has taken all my tantrums and still told me  "YKD chill! "  i love you guys....

P.S this does not in anyway mean i don't love my Calcutta friends...i love you guys as well...

P.P.S. this is the first and last time i'm actually getting emotional with 'my internet blabbing'.

Once Upon A Time.....

Today i did something very childish. i stuck my head out of  my car window as the rain came down heavily. The drops falling fast and hard and suddenly i was transported into that Once Upon A Time when i would wait for the rain....the flooding of the Calcutta streets....the hot chocolate and dreamy weather as well as a book. Nothing else could make the rain more perfect. the smell of the dry parched earth finally receiving water. The medley of sounds of the birds and beasts. The lush green that spreads in all the trees and that complete feeling of relaxation, of the thought that things do get okay.

Realization hit me.So often we grow up so fast that we forget the small things that give us happiness , the small gestures that were shown out of affection and we also forget the people who have stayed with us since the Once Upon A Time...and are still there waiting to be remembered. Lost time never returns and moments become memories and in the process of growing up and finding our new identities we tuck these moments away. we try and hide the imperfection not realizing that the only perfect thing in our lives is IMPERFECTION however hard we try its perfectly embedded in our lives and getting rid of it is ...well is difficult so we work around it. Most of the time working around what we consider wrong or uncool makes us let go of the little things.

Growing up is a process where one learns to make sacrifices but at times due to all the changes we face ..we make the wrong sacrifices. we sacrifice the friend who told us the truth on our faces. we sacrifice the time we could have spent with family for a few moments of popularity. and sometimes we change ....change so that we can pretend these sacrifices don't mean a thing nor did they ever mean anything. thinking about all the mistakes i myself have made i realize if i could turn the clock back i would change 60% of what i did...i regret lots of decisions but then again its part of the process. the grass always IS greener on the other side.

I used to be so eager to grow up. to be an adult . to be able to make my own choices and decisions.to get a drivers license.and now all i want to do is run away from October. to run away from being an adult. for the first time i want to run away from taking responsibility. to run to a corner and read Cinderella or Snow White. to pretend that a Knight in shining armour will drag me off my feet and take me away on his white horse. well those things happen only in the dreams of little girls. I've grown up and reality bites...its renders all those dreams and fairy tales of that little girl inconsequential.

It hit me today when all i wanted to do was laugh and dance in the rain and my friend said stop acting like a child. suddenly i didn't want to be grown up. i didn't want to sit in the house and watch the city get wet before me. i didn't want to be who i had turned out to be. i wanted to be the little girl who didn't care how her hair looked or how her shoes would not match her clothes and i definitely wanted to be out on the terrace. so i went out and lived a little bit of the time that i miss so terribly. the time  when the only thing i looked forward to was the Happily Ever After!

Masked!!

A Mask is anything that disguises or conceals something or someone.
The life of a teenager is full of masks...some of colour...some of pretense...some of delusion and many of lies so much so that one starts believing in these mask to such an extent that one loses their own identity or rather forgets it. And now that i come to think of it .......its the case with every single individual.....each person wears a mask...if not many then atleast one.....

MASK OF PRETENSE : we all for some weird reason pretend to be someone we definitely are not..... the first day of school...out of fear of being friendless we try to get everyone to like us which seems impossible simply because the others too wear masks....it takes a few years before our identities sink in and we actually know who we are and what we want and at that moment we once again don our masks...

MASK OF HYPOCRISY : The moment we come to know of  what we want ....we try and hide it for fear of ostracism or even criticism....it seems stupid that its in our nature to want to be loved by everyone...sure saying this makes me a hypocrite for i too don many of these masks....but at least i question it publicly. we set standards for ourselves and other which most of the time seem ridiculous to so many and yet we do this as a part of our daily routine.

MASK OF APPEARANCES : leading an almost carefree life with two masks in our kitty we put on a third...that of appearances which suddenly become really important to us...as we try to conform to standards laid down by ourselves...we try to look different we try to be different and by the end we are so different that if we look  int the mirror it takes us a few seconds to recognize who we truly are.

MASK OF IDENTITY :  we change so much as people.. as individuals that what we wear masks of identity also sometimes globally called IDENTITY CRISIS!!...we mold ourselves so much that we forget the simple things .....the truth...the real us....  that we soon become exactly what our masks dictate..exactly what society dictates and accepts..we to become an accepted part of society become nothing more than puppets...controlled by societies whims and fancies ... by masked hypocrites..by masked pretences..by masked appearances ....the day we pass from life ...at one time there would be ashes at another bones and in our time there will be masks.....

The most hypocritical feature of this article is that i too wear masks ... I sit here and type these words hiding behind the two largest deceivers and creators of masks ....WORDS and THE INTERNET......

The Beginning

No one actually knows why they start blogging...in my opinion its a way to say things one wouldn't actually start a conversation about or maybe we start blogging because its the 'in thing' to do.And as much as we try to to stand out each one of us just wants to fit in. So here I am writing a blog simply because I have nothing better to do or maybe I'm just following a trend... well....ONLY TIME WILL TELL!