Once Upon A Time.....

Today i did something very childish. i stuck my head out of  my car window as the rain came down heavily. The drops falling fast and hard and suddenly i was transported into that Once Upon A Time when i would wait for the rain....the flooding of the Calcutta streets....the hot chocolate and dreamy weather as well as a book. Nothing else could make the rain more perfect. the smell of the dry parched earth finally receiving water. The medley of sounds of the birds and beasts. The lush green that spreads in all the trees and that complete feeling of relaxation, of the thought that things do get okay.

Realization hit me.So often we grow up so fast that we forget the small things that give us happiness , the small gestures that were shown out of affection and we also forget the people who have stayed with us since the Once Upon A Time...and are still there waiting to be remembered. Lost time never returns and moments become memories and in the process of growing up and finding our new identities we tuck these moments away. we try and hide the imperfection not realizing that the only perfect thing in our lives is IMPERFECTION however hard we try its perfectly embedded in our lives and getting rid of it is ...well is difficult so we work around it. Most of the time working around what we consider wrong or uncool makes us let go of the little things.

Growing up is a process where one learns to make sacrifices but at times due to all the changes we face ..we make the wrong sacrifices. we sacrifice the friend who told us the truth on our faces. we sacrifice the time we could have spent with family for a few moments of popularity. and sometimes we change ....change so that we can pretend these sacrifices don't mean a thing nor did they ever mean anything. thinking about all the mistakes i myself have made i realize if i could turn the clock back i would change 60% of what i did...i regret lots of decisions but then again its part of the process. the grass always IS greener on the other side.

I used to be so eager to grow up. to be an adult . to be able to make my own choices and decisions.to get a drivers license.and now all i want to do is run away from October. to run away from being an adult. for the first time i want to run away from taking responsibility. to run to a corner and read Cinderella or Snow White. to pretend that a Knight in shining armour will drag me off my feet and take me away on his white horse. well those things happen only in the dreams of little girls. I've grown up and reality bites...its renders all those dreams and fairy tales of that little girl inconsequential.

It hit me today when all i wanted to do was laugh and dance in the rain and my friend said stop acting like a child. suddenly i didn't want to be grown up. i didn't want to sit in the house and watch the city get wet before me. i didn't want to be who i had turned out to be. i wanted to be the little girl who didn't care how her hair looked or how her shoes would not match her clothes and i definitely wanted to be out on the terrace. so i went out and lived a little bit of the time that i miss so terribly. the time  when the only thing i looked forward to was the Happily Ever After!